Get up and we heard a familiar phrase from Simo ‘I am not drinking tonight’. About one hour later Simo heads out and walks back in with a Slab. The drinks start rolling down at REED ST. Moorzy, Gav, Simo and Coop start smashing down some beers. Coop heads off to DJ the races after party, Gav heads home to feed his dog and Moorzy and Simo kept on drinking. 2 hours later they head out to meet Coop Spin at White Charlie. Every single person in there was hammered drunk and they were not in there head space. So Dave and Simo decided to go and sit at Orange, relax and have a few beers. Orange was packed, so they headed about 20 metres down the road to La La Land. Simo and Dave set up shop, started drinking. Chatting to a couple of UK girls was fun. All of a sudden the party came to these two kids. Strain and Gav came, Coop set finished early and a few races crew came back. La La Land was nothing until Dave and Simo rolled up and gave these guys some serious cash flow over the bar. The night started to get a little wild and before we knew it everyone was wasted drunk and talking some solid shit. The party went to move to Rev’s did not get in, which was weird, headed back to La La Land. Then we decided to move again, Some how Simo ended up in a car with four lesbians. A few more beers later and Simo had converted one of the girls. He then try’s his luck at Revs but did not get in again, then came home to find Moorzy passed out. The night was done at around 5am. This brings us to Sunday, Gav, Coop, Strain and Moorzy were all pretty keen to smash up this night as well. It was on the cards a three day bender for Strain, Gav, Moorzy and Coop and it once again started at REED ST. Ended with a big pair of lungs in strains hands and some sore heads and bodies on Monday!

There were a few rules set out early that led to the demise of some great men…
1. You must be dressed up as anyone but yourself and be rolling in blades.
The boys assembled as Cameron Ling, Batman, Michael Jordan, Shaq, Hunter S Thompson and a Special Olympian were all on hand for this ‘glorious’ day.
2. You must drink with your non preferred hand. Sounds easy … try it and see how well you go!
3. You must be rolling on Blades, a doctors note was the only way out of not roller blading, but you still needed to roll. Lingy was on a bike, Hunter on an old school Tony Hawk Fish Tail board and Shaq was ‘all time’ pushing the Special Olympian around in his wheel chair.

As we left REED ST I don’t think the party crew knew what was about to happen, we had high hopes, we left with excitement and all guns blazing – Port Melbourne and Albert Park were about to be Roller Jammed and they had know idea!

The map was drawn out and 2 beers and the occasional shot had to be downed at all bars (8 bars in total 5 and a half hours to complete the circuit). We started at The London, fine establishment in Port Melbourne – cute bartender, worth a beer there fellas!

Sun was out and the beers started rolling out. The great thing about the London is that there is always a “beer special” on and on this particular day it was Corona… not bad! Hunter S Thompson was first to get done breaking the cardinal rule 2. He put down his beer with significant discomfort, let’s just say Hunter S Thompson is not a fan of beers. This put Hunter on high defense mode and would later call out many of the crew for rule 2.Melbourne, not only is it full of knob jockeys but the beers are ridiculously high priced. Do not recommend this place at all! We had one beer, which was Batman’s Shout, and that just about broke the superheroes hip pocket! We make a decision to get the fuck outta dodge and leave this pathetic hole and head across the road to a more laid back pub called The Local. This meant 2 beers and a shot needed to be consumed at this venue, oh and the last person to finish the first beer had to have a shot. We met two lovely girls here who were in ore to be around such esteemed celebrities and, lets be honest, they wanted to be a part ‘Roller Jam 09′. The last person to finish the first round of pints was Lingy… he blames this on the fact he had played the night before and was still in recovery mode, not sure how the shot of Galliano aided his recovery. Shaq, was last to finish his beer the second time around, so down went his shot and another shot just for fun, I think he purposely finished his beer last, the boy can drink – Batman tried to roller skate on a skate board with his blades on and failed!
Time to move bars again so the crew decided to do a group shot and head to the Echange. Batman was next to fall victim to rule 2, this rule was proving to be brutal. A shot each and 2 beers later we were off to the next bar. We left here and with the girls crying we bid them farewell, pretty sure numbers were exchanged but who can remember that. I think Lingy got the numbers!Jordan was next to fall victim to rule 2, Hunter S Thompson strikes again.Bay Street now had to prepare themselves for destruction.6pm. We finally get to The Albert Park Hotel, a rather cool place to sit outside and have a few beers, good looking babes hit this place up all the time. We get there, covered in cuts and bruises, still all dressed up, Batman heads on in to use the toilet and get us a round. He is then escorted out, he still does not know what happened or why, but they would not let him anywhere in there and rumour has it iwas the quickest ejection from the Albert Park Hotel in recent memory! No doubt he fell over or into someone causing a seen of some sort.

2 beers down and roller blading starts to get fun, being toed by Cameron Ling on his bike the party crew head to The Point. This has to be the worst bar to drink at in

A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

We headed to The Exchange, by now the wheels had started to fall off and we were all a little loose. The Echange is a nice little bar but on this particular day the bar was being tended by the worlds most unfriendly women!! Not the costumes or our attitudes could crack a smile from this ice dragon! We quickly let this go though as the sun was shining there was no shortage of babes walking the streets, Bay Street is quite a popular area for young business woman and on the weekends it’s there time to party – Batman saw a group of ladies and bladed over to them, he looked amazing as he glided up to them, everyone at the pub thought he did anyways…. turns out they were all pretty keen to head back to their house and smash some coke and head back out. Not even Batman could save the day there and they left…Batman un fazed came back to the group cape blowing in the wind.

By now the beers and shots were turning us into loose cannons and

hello ladies...

Ling toed Batman , Batman tried to take flight, stacked it on a busy corner and Bay Street erupted, Lingy and Batman had no idea anyone was watching them, casually got back up, dusted themselves off and headed for Prince Alfred (Batman was hanging off a rope from Lingy’s bike).  Known to the locals as PA’s, no one was there bar one terrible cover band and a local or two. The party crew set up shop outside and started smashing there 2 beers and a shot. From here the day and night gets a little lost…. We played some ridiculously hard trivia drank heavily and were both celebrated and mocked by passersby. After the deeds were done we packed up and took to the biggest distance we had to travel all day till our next drinks. 10 pints down and a few shots each, we were about 4 hours into our day and night…this next trip was going to be messy. I am not sure how long this took to get to the next bar, but Batman had to be wheeled by Shaq in the special Olympians wheels chair, the rest of the team took fall after fall and the night had not even started. The estimated time would have been around

Can't take the smile of the make a wish boy's face!

We soon leave cause we are parched and ready for our next drink – The Nest, we were always going here and not getting kicked out. Here mayhem descended and it is a miracle we were not kicked out! I am not even sure what we drank there but we did, had a few beers then headed back to REED ST. Everyone got changed into regular clothes ready for the nights festivities…
Batman went to Hotel Barkly, in the bat mobile. Hunter S Thompson DJ’s Q Bar with Shaq, Lingy, Jordan and the special Olympian went to The Beach. The crew later all met at The Beach, special Olympian and Lingy were found passed out in separate beds back at REED ST, Jordan left his credit card over the bar at The Beach (baller) and went home. Batman went to Ocean Blue with two lovely ladies, soon came home to Hunter on the decks, Shaq drinking and some random party crew dancing up a storm on the dance floor.
Batman passed out next to Lingy in his bed, Shaq kicked the Olympian out as he had a lady and Hunter S Thompson kept the party going into the morning and beyond.

what happens under the mirror ball stays under the mirror ball!

Get to Strains and set up shop, jump in the water for a swim, water ski, tue and not one but two cannon balls. A cannon ball is when you stand up on the back of the speed boat, when it hits full speed you jump off and crash in the water. Simo did this twice as the video camera was not working the first time. For those who have not done this Simo will suggest not too.

Perrfek...

Can Wake Skate

It was now time to start drinking, would have been about 3pm. Head down to the local supermarket, there was a cute girl working giving all the boys an eye. Start driving back and somehow convinced Simo to go back and ask for her number, all knowing the moment had passed, but Simo hates to disappoint. He heads back in and comes out with nothing haha he received claps for the effort and a bit of shit as well!

Back to Strains place, the boys start smashing beers, little excited and bought 2 slabs at the supermarket, only getting through about half a slab and had to leave, the bus was coming to pick them up.
It was 45 degrees, super hot but this did not dampen their spirits, they were there for Jimmy and nothing was gong to stop them.
Just before they get in the bus, Tizzle with his flat feet step on the worlds smallest bindies, which could just been seen and not pulled out. Simo tried pulling them out on the bus, Tizzle was sweating like a tennis player in the fifth set for about 30 minutes until the last one was out.
Get to the venue and set up teams – Team REED and team ROCK. These teams were drinks. Before you had finished one the next one was there, the boys did not have an empty beer in our hand all day untill….
Set up shop at the mist tent and spent the day and night there. 2 hours in all looking at each other soon realiseeveryone is out of money, and for some reason there was no ATM anywhere.

Go outside and bribe a bus driver to drive to take them into town and stop at an ATM, each paid him $20 to drive us 4km. He made $80 cash for about 25 minutes work. It was well worth it. He is seen in the photo below

Easy money... we'll do anything for a beer!

Get back and continue to drink and drink they did. None of the boys can remember Jimmy Barnes, Simo and Strain were seen making out with two girls. The show finishes and now it’s time for the bus ride home, what seemed like church on the way up turned into a bar on the way home. Everyone was best friends and free and willing to chat. The four boys get off the bus and head back to Strains to drink the rest of the beers.

One by one the boys were out, first Moorzy, then Strain and Tizzle and Simo spent a good 2 hours talking shit, random calling everyone in there phones and fighting off the creatures of the night.
Stumble into bed and find Moorzy on a bed fit for a 5 year old girl. Moorzy is 6’6, this is hilarious to Tizzle and Simo, they get into two large separate beds and pass out.

The morning is lovely and they water skii and wake board the rest of the day and head back home later in the night.

It was a cracker of a weekend and highly recommened.

Just before Liam stood on a midget patch of prickles

Watching Ella Hooper doing her thing and boy was it HOT!

Smashing it up in the mist tent

Beers, sun and girls = good times!

Pretty sure JIMMY is playing behind us - Dave at this stage was in the front row hammered drunk!

Belting out a JIMMY song

This was the bus ride home... pretty sure when your name is the white Morgan Freeman you're allowed to wear sunglasses inside and at night!

Orange in Chapel Street. Small cafe/bar. Get down early and get a table out the front, put your card behind the bar and set up shop for a few hours. Great atmosphere, plus you get the bonus of meeting random people as the walk past you on the street. You will have a great night here!

Portsea Pub - In summer this place is a bit of a haven for cool kids. The crowd is OK, the beers are amazing as it’s usually quite hot. The talent here is enough to make your eyes pop out of your head. You must get down to the Portsea Pub in summer. We’ll be there, so come and say hi.

Hotel Barkly, probably one of melbournes better venues. Sunday night is awesome here, security do a great job of not letting tossers in. The women are amazing, the beats are pumping and the drinks will flow all night. Here almost every sunday night!

If all else fails REED ST is the number one closer of the night. After a big night we’ll head back here to keep the party going and boy does it go. If your invited back be sure to have some drinks and a free spirit attitude with you. It tends to get a little crazy here! Sorry to all our neighbors.

Get down and see our boy COOP DJ, not only is he visually pleasing, but he’ll get your feet moving in directions you never knew they could go.
If your into your DJ’s you should be into these cats -Sascha Funke and Armam Van Burren – they will blow your mind.

If your into your bands you should be listening too – The Kooks, Hot Hot Heat and Trial Kennedy!
Give your ears some love and start listening now!

1. Mexican Monday at REED ST – do not take dates here, they will not leave.
2. Don Dino’s – In Victoria Avenue, We recommend the Don Dino Special (pizza) – simply AMAZING
3. Misuzus – In Victoria Avenue for Village Style Japanese food – DELICIOUS
4. Donavons – Jacka Blvd St Kilda – $$$

Calls up Cooper and Strain, all meet at REED ST for a few heart starters and then head straight into Orange, a bar on Chapel Street. Great little bar, a little over priced, but we enjoy the atmosphere there and the night always starts off well when you start at ORANGE (Simo and Tizzle have a love hate relationship with every worker there). Drinking Hoegardens will get you going, there in a bigger glass, so you need to drink them quick otherwise the lovely ale inside gets warm and is wasted.

Getting it done at Orange - AGAIN!

Smashed a few down, some more crew came to celebrate Simo’s Retrenchment. The drinks start to get a little rowdy here, so the crew pack up shop, hop into the car and head down to Q Bar.
Very young crowd in there, partied a while, got some drinks, danced a bit, said hello to a few peeps, and before they knew it they were jumping into a cab and heading back to REED. The beauty of this was they were all rather loose and Moorzy was sound a sleep and had no idea what was about to hit him. The party crew thought they were stealth like but later told they were like elephants trying to sneak into the house. Moorzy bed is right at the front door, so he knew what was about to happen. Time was around 4am.  Bust into Dave’s room, throw a girl into his bed and all start to jump in and wake the poor guy up. He had another 2.5 hours to sleep, but that wasn’t happening. Pretty sure Cooper was in there the longest dry humping Dave, he was not impressed. Head out the back, Simo grabs his guitar and starts to play and sing and wake up the neighbors, no one seems to mind except poor Moorzy. He could not get back to sleep, or more to the point we would not let him. Out the back on the couch, Strain, the girl and Simo kicked backed when all of a sudden in rolls Pickles with a couple of younger girls and guys. Pickles soon get’s the word to piss off and leave and take your children with you. Cooper makes a bad decision which he is known for and gets up and leaves with pickles and the kids.
Strain, the girl and Simo head up to the roof. It’s a lovely morning and the sun is coming up, so we lay on the roof watching the sun come up, start talking mega amounts of shit, Call the girls sister and organise a double date which soon led to Simo being called ’120′, a name which has not stuck! The morning gets cold around 11am. The crew head back inside, Strain is done, so Simo and the girl watch Dumd and Dumber and chill untill they fall asleep around 2pm. Get up around 5pm to go and get Simo’s car. He has a parking ticket and is not happy!